Without Her

I see them descending there in the tremorous haze of a mirage.
Their statures break slowly until I barely discern whether they are human or merely obscuring images? Some of their details slide to float away making me think they would perish in the haze. But before long they would catch up with those critical details and emerge. The knocks
of their boots echoing in a shoreless expanse.
And away have I distanced myself!
Have taken to chopping my firewood away from all appeals. Anticipating a long and cold winter without her, without a rippling come-back.
Things take their course while on I look.
Paths get stirred by my silence.
In every detail, it is the same whether I am surprised or not.
I have to remember what haappened had to happen! All contexts were to round up regardless of my emanations into their fields of impact.
So what do need I neeed me for?
????????
- ........
But these a priori conclusions are never reached until you arrive at those thorny terminal ends where nothing is beyound. Where it turns out in a final and stark reckoning that the things you fought were mightier than your strife. That your struggle itself was , before collapsing, the common denominator in all the cases where you assumed denying and effacing roles! You can even conclude that your active life was sheer egocentricity. See how flagrant that is! But those and the episodes and the transformations do not like this observation! Mites do not heed the amount of damage consequent on their "miting"! Your readiness to defeat your enemies does not matter if 'they' put the whole thing in reverse! Therefore stick to any emerging context. You will find that indifference is the slogan that happenings raise in the face of your meddling in their fate!
What did you think?
Are you bigger than a Home?
They, the episodes and the transformations have raised more than that in the face of the glorious, voluntary custodians of values. A deed that cracked the jars of the drinking pals of change sending them scrambling for heeltaps.
What could they do to you?
?????
Her marriage to the goal-keeper scorches you as one of the caustic episodes. I do
not object that a goal-keeper ventures into the wilderness of the 'big' questions
and their burning answers. Camus was a goal-keeper! Look at his face 'Camus's not
your rival's'. Philosophy does not do that to a face. Apart from what Camus did, tens of years might pass without you knowing anything significant a goal-keeper had done following his stepping-down! Maybe he absorbed her theses and transcended them! Maybe her sudden marriage to him created that state at which one just dumped theses under the cover of married life!
(to be contd)...